Vampires: Los Muertos

Starring: Jon Bon Jovi, Christian De La Fuente and Arly Jover
RRP: £5.99
C820 8812
Certificate: 18
Available now

Tough-as-nails vampire hunter Derek Bliss is on the hunt for "suckers" in the heart of Mexico when he receives a new assignment from a mysterious client. Thrown together with a group of slayers, including sexy Zoey, who may or may not be one of the undead, Derek and company are up against a growing number of fast-moving, bloodthirsty vampires and their elusive and powerful leader, who has plans of her own for the slayers...

If you like cheesy films or Jon Bon Jovi (JBJ) - the later is the case for me - then you might sit down and watch this film, and maybe enjoy it. If not then just don't bother.

Vampire is in no way as bad as John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars (can anything be?!?) but it's still pretty dire. You'll laugh at the cheap feel of the flick and the average acting just for starters.

The story revolves around Jack Crow (JBJ) as he assembles a new team of vampire hunters to hunt down Master Vampire Valek. The unlikely bunch take on the head vamp, unbeknownst that its trap set up by said vamp to lure the hunter and his untrained team to a grisly death. Of course the good guys come out alive, well some do at least, and you'll probably survive watching this, but only just.

Again JBJ or JC fans might actually enjoy this film, but those are likely to be the only ones, but at its bargain price, if you feel like a big slice of cheese on a Saturday night go buy it. It's only a quid or two more than renting it from the store - and you'll have the chance to watch it time and time again.

Keri Allan

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